More songs by OFFICIAL HIGE DANDISM
Description
Lyricist: Satoshi Fujihara
Composer: Satoshi Fujihara
Arranger: OFFICIAL HIGE DANDISM
Lyrics and translation
Original
エタノールに浸して 差し出したいろんな潤い
荒れた肌に沁みて痛い 胸の奥は知られたくない
でもここは せめてこの時間だけは湿度と暖かさに満ちたい
弱音はいつまでも吐きたい 吐きたがる僕が僕は嫌い
君の優しさに甘えて 大丈夫って言葉貰って
貰ったくせにすぐに落として あれこれ求める痛み止め
逆剥けを繰り返す指先 抑えつけても暴れる期待
心にへばりつく病原菌 君にうつしませんように
Oh babyこの渇きだけは ここにある穴だけは
君に満たしてもらっちゃいけない気がするんだ
もう平気なフリすらしない 全てを洗い流した上で
格好つけて 真っ当に生きていたい
I'm baby自分という人を自分で守る事が
君を愛すという事の第一歩
もう元に戻らない アザのできた体のまま
折れ目のついたハートのまま 僕という人のありのまま
君の優しさに甘えて 大丈夫って言葉貰って
貰ったくせに信じず捨てて 当たって何度も傷つけて
気づけば繋がれてた点滴 不甲斐ない僕を責める免疫
それでも増えていく病原菌 君に謝りたかったのに
Oh baby この痛みだけは ここにある「嫌い」だけは
何に頼って治したとしたって意味がないんだ
能天気な未来はいらない たとえ苦しみにまみれたって
僕は僕に僕だけで勝ってみたい
I'm baby 自分という人を自分で誇る事が
君を愛すという事に不可欠だった
軟弱な自分を呪った 君はそれを笑った また救われてしまった
逆剥けやヒビ割れだらけの手 シミや折れ目だらけのハートで
それでも笑みを浮かべるその目
僕は僕にとっての君に 君にふさわしい僕に ちゃんとなりたかったんだ
Oh babyこの渇きだけは ここにある穴だけは
君に満たしてもらっちゃいけない気がするんだ
もう平気なフリすらしない 全てを洗い流した上で
格好つけて 真っ当に生きていたい
Oh babyこの痛みがまた ここにある「嫌い」がまた
僕の心を突き刺し蝕んだとしたって
もうどんな劇薬もいらない 不安にうなされながらも
僕は信じている 僕を信じている
I'm baby自分という人を自分で守る事が
君を愛すという事の第一歩
そんな暑苦しい想いをせめて表だけでも
拭いて綺麗にしてから会いに行くよ
English translation
Soak it in ethanol and give it all kinds of moisture
I don't want you to know what's deep inside my chest, where it hurts through my rough skin.
But here, at least for this time, I want to be filled with humidity and warmth.
I want to whine forever, I hate myself when I want to vomit
I was spoiled by your kindness, and you told me it was okay.
Even though I received it, I immediately dropped it, asking for more and more painkillers.
My fingertips keep peeling back, and even if I hold them down, I expect them to go wild
I hope I don't infect you with the germs that cling to my heart.
Oh baby, only this thirst, only this hole here
I feel like I need you to fill me up
I don't even pretend to be okay anymore, after washing everything away
I want to look good and live authentically
I'm baby I can protect myself as a person
The first step to loving you
I can't go back, my body still has bruises
As a broken heart, as I am as a person
I was spoiled by your kindness, and you told me it was okay.
Even though I received it, I didn't believe it and threw it away. I hit it and hurt it many times.
Before I knew it, I was connected to an IV drip, an immunity that blamed me for being unworthy.
Even so, the pathogens continue to grow, I wanted to apologize to you
Oh baby, only this pain, only this "hate" here
There's no point in relying on anything to heal me.
I don't need a happy future, even if it's full of pain
I want to win on my own
I'm baby I can be proud of who I am
It was essential to loving you
You cursed yourself for being weak, you laughed at it, and you were saved again.
Hands full of peeling and cracks, a heart full of stains and creases
Those eyes that still smile
I wanted to be the person you are for me, the person you deserve.
Oh baby, only this thirst, only this hole here
I feel like I need you to fill me up
I don't even pretend to be okay anymore, after washing everything away
I want to look good and live authentically
Oh baby, this pain is here again, this "hate" is here again
Even if you pierced and eroded my heart
I don't need any more powerful drugs, even though I'm drowning in anxiety
i believe i believe in me
I'm baby I can protect myself as a person
The first step to loving you
Even if I could at least express those painful feelings,
I'll wipe it clean and go see you.