Rest My Head

English translation

Made my bed.

Now it's time to rest my head.

-Rest my head.

-Yeah, just a growing child, trying to find his place with a broken smile.

Was in a search for validation, he was prone to persuasion, found something that could shift the dial. Started covering the cracks with his own denial.

Couldn't get clean with a soap and towel.

On that day when my sins gotta go to trial, I pray that Jesus has mercy and it's over now.

To be honest, I ain't too optimistic.

I failed everyone I live with, plus I listened to a podcast the other day, and turns out I'm probably narcissistic.

To think this all started from a problem as an infant. Yeah, explanations aren't excuses.

I need the answers that can lead me to some true things, like why I hurt everyone that trusts me, or why I love you but can't love me.

Made my bed.

Now it's time to rest my head.

Rest my head.

I think it's time that I waved a white flag.

I've been battling my thoughts, they always seem to fight back. But I've been fighting, or maybe I've been hiding. Look,

I've got this shadow of myself and I don't like him. But every time I'm lonely

I invite him, grab the keys and started driving and, he don't need a license, he don't need a Porsche.

He just needs to sell me all these dreams that I've bought, like I am in control, and I don't need to talk, and I am justified in all the hurt that I've caused. And next time will be the last time, so one more.

One more for the pain, one more for the shame.

One more for the fact my life will never be the same, 'cause them compound mistakes and high stakes got me drifting.

I looked at my shadow, then I looked at myself and I can't tell the difference.

Made my bed.

Now it's time to rest my head.

Rest my head.

Made my bed.

Now it's time to rest my head.

Rest my head.

Made my bed.

Now it's time to rest my head.

-Rest my head.

-I put my head on my pillow, and feel the weight of that hero to zero.

Hood bredder, thought I was a good fella, now I feel like De Niro. I've been playing characters till I feel whole.

Still got a lot of life left in me. I made friends with the devil, he's got a knife left in me.

I took it out and tried cover up the wound, I'm still alive and that's Christ blessing me.

Still a legend to my kids and that's my therapy.

I pray for the people I hurt, one especially. It's devastating that I couldn't dig deep.

Didn't ever let you peek at the worst, just the best of me.

Honesty was probably the most important recipe. Definitely committed to change.

Frank and Harvey said it best, I don't want pity or praise.

I couldn't care less about opinions of saints, the least forgiving when you're making mistakes, but I relate 'cause

I can't even forgive myself. I know it's the only way that God can heal myself.

Forgive myself, heal myself, free myself.

And when I finally find him, hope I'm still myself.

Bob Dylan said, "I drown the blood, I can't go back to the wine," and that's a lyric that I find I can't get out of my mind.

'Cause when Jesus saved my soul I was like fifteen years old, didn't feel whole 'cause didn't give him everything to hold.

But it's still the realest love I've ever known