Gary’s II

English translation

Went for a drink at the bar down the road

Watching horses and betting your clothes

You head out the door then to go for a smoke

It hit on the way out and stubbed you your toe

A guy rounds the corner in a fisherman's hat

And he hits ya in the face with a baseball bat

He took one look at you after he stopped to laugh

And he noticed he mistook you, got hit on behalf

Of some bastard from the bar who had slept with his wife

You said, "I never seen you in my God given life"

You stood up and brushed off and felt for your mouth

And your teeth had leapt from you, so you spit 'em all out

You took up your pride, and you took up the bat

And you went for that shithead, took out his knee caps

You went to the dentist, and he winced at your gums

And he said that false teeth were your only option

You said, "Go ahead, man, just take out the rest

Even the good ones are doomed, I'm tired of them"

The dentist took pause but said, "Seems fine to me"

And that's how you got dentures at age 33

You told me this story as you stood by your truck

I said "Gary, man, you have the worst of all luck

I always did wonder how your teeth stayed so nice

When the only thing you drink is Pepsi"