Goodbye Utopia

Sometimes everything seems to freeze - the air sticks, thoughts creak, even time crawls lazily, like an overheated cat in the sun. It seems like the world is rushing forward, cars are noisy, someone is rushing somewhere, but inside there is silence. The kind of silence in which you can hear your own heart beating in time with the emptiness.

And then, in this stillness, a fever suddenly awakens. Not even from passion - from a desperate desire to somehow burn away the stagnation, to eradicate the hopelessness. Kerosene for pain, fire for cold, sound for silence. Anything to simply feel that the blood is still flowing and not standing in the veins like stagnant water. And even if the future is unknown, the main thing is that it is not an eternal pause.