Janie

The smell of dampness, walls saturated with mould, and the desire to hide in this room so deeply that no one can reach you. Here, love sounds like a request that is doomed from the start: leave the door ajar, even if your heart has long been taken by another.

Everything hangs on the painful ‘she was my first,’ like a childish grievance that has grown into something much heavier. Inside is the recognition that the end is visible from the beginning, but still the hand reaches for the illusion.

The result is a sad mantra about unequal roles: one changes, the other waits. And on this empty page, only the surname remains - a heavy anchor and the only proof that something still belongs.

Author: Hayden Anhedonia

Producer: Hayden Anhedonia

Mixing: Hayden Anhedonia

Atmos mixing: Prash ‘Engine-Earz’ Mistry and Lavar Bullard

Mastering: Matthew Tomasi

Instruments:

Synths, bass, vocals: Hayden Anhedonia

Electric guitar, additional vocals: Matthew Tomasi

Visualiser: Hayden Anhedonia