More songs by Cornelius
Description
The typing tutorial turns into surreal hip-hop - letters march in formation, as if the keyboard has decided to stage its own parade. The instructor's voice assures us that everything is simple, but in reality, our fingers get tangled up in a ridiculous dance where ‘IBM’ neighbours “UFO” and ‘MTV’. It seems as if the typography course has suddenly gone off the rails and started quoting television, space and secret services. It's funny, absurd and, for some reason, very rhythmic - as if the computer itself has decided to joke around.
Lyrics and translation
Original
Hello there
This is your Conversa-Phone instructor
Who will teach you the essentials of touch-typing
Quickly and efficiently
Learning touch typing is really quite easy
Follow my instructions carefully
And by the time you have finished this record
You will have mastered the typewriter keyboard
Try not to look at the keys when typing
And don't worry about mistakes
They will disappear with practice
Ready?
F (F), B (B), I (I)
Space
C (C), I (I), A (A)
Space
K (K), G (G), B (B)
Space
C (C), N (N), N (N)
Space
I (I), B (B), M (M)
Space
U (U), C (C), C (C)
Space
Y (Y), K (K), K (K)
Space
K (K), K (K), K (K)
Next
T (T), R (R), F (F)
Space
D (D), O (O), S (S)
Space
T (T), M (M), N (N)
Space
C (C), C (C), B (B)
E (E), L (L), P (P)
Space
E (E), L (L), O (O)
Space
R (R), E (E), M (M)
Space
M (M), S (S), G (G)
Good
By this time, your fingers should be moving more quickly to the desired keys
Also, your fingers automatically should be returning to the starting keys
If you do not feel this automatic response
More time should be spent going over the previous methods
For those who feel they are ready to proceed further
We will now practice using the keys on the row directly below the starting keys
Place your hands on the starting keys
Ready?
E (E), B (B), H (H)
Space
D (D), R (R), I (I)
Space
M (M), D (D), C (C)
Space
S (S), O (O), B (B)
Space
K (K), L (L), F (F)
Space
D (D), A (A), F (F)
Space
L (L), F (F), O (O)
Space
Y (Y), M (M), O (O)
B (B), P (P), M (M)
Space
S (S), D (D), P (P)
Space
M (M), C (C), A (A)
Space
M (M), C (C), A T
U (U), F (F), O (O)
Space
E (E), S (S), P (P)
Space
M (M), B (B), V (V)
Space
V (V), I (I), P (P)
Space
M (M), T (T), V (V)
Space
L (L), S (S), D (D)
Space
U (U), S (S), A (A)
Space
R, I, P
Good luck
English translation
Hello there
This is your Conversa-Phone instructor
Who will teach you the essentials of touch-typing
Quickly and efficiently
Learning touch typing is really quite easy
Follow my instructions carefully
And by the time you have finished this record
You will have mastered the typewriter keyboard
Try not to look at the keys when typing
And don't worry about mistakes
They will disappear with practice
Ready?
F (F), B (B), I (I)
Space
C (C), I (I), A (A)
Space
K (K), G (G), B (B)
Space
C (C), N (N), N (N)
Space
I (I), B (B), M (M)
Space
U (U), C (C), C (C)
Space
Y (Y), K (K), K (K)
Space
K (K), K (K), K (K)
Next
T (T), R (R), F (F)
Space
D (D), O (O), S (S)
Space
T (T), M (M), N (N)
Space
C (C), C (C), B (B)
E (E), L (L), P (P)
Space
E (E), L (L), O (O)
Space
R (R), E (E), M (M)
Space
M (M), S (S), G (G)
Good
By this time, your fingers should be moving more quickly to the desired keys
Also, your fingers automatically should be returning to the starting keys
If you do not feel this automatic response
More time should be spent going over the previous methods
For those who feel they are ready to proceed further
We will now practice using the keys on the row directly below the starting keys
Place your hands on the starting keys
Ready?
E (E), B (B), H (H)
Space
D (D), R (R), I (I)
Space
M (M), D (D), C (C)
Space
S (S), O (O), B (B)
Space
K (K), L (L), F (F)
Space
D (D), A (A), F (F)
Space
L (L), F (F), O (O)
Space
Y (Y), M (M), O (O)
B (B), P (P), M (M)
Space
S (S), D (D), P (P)
Space
M (M), C (C), A (A)
Space
M (M), C (C), A T
U (U), F (F), O (O)
Space
E (E), S (S), P (P)
Space
M (M), B (B), V (V)
Space
V (V), I (I), P (P)
Space
M (M), T (T), V (V)
Space
L (L), S (S), D (D)
Space
U (U), S (S), A (A)
Space
R, I, P
Good luck